There are certain moments which are yours. Even if you don’t remember them perfectly they are a part of you which can never be taken away. Some people make it their life’s work to set the record straight on various things about which lies are told, and i can’t fault those people. However, in my own case, it just strikes me as a waste of time. There are people who want to promulgate their own version of events, and i see no profit in making an issue of it. It kind of reinforces my belief that some things are better left in the past. But i would be dishonest, and why bother being dishonest here, of all places? If I said it didn’t affect me. Sure it affects me. Something that I started years ago is being credited to others with no mention of me, and there is a certain annoyance in that. But it’s no different than the very war which time itself has waged on me, making me older, trying to erase my existence.
We will all be erased, eventually. Erased and more than likely forgotten. People will remember what they wish to. I feel overwhelmingly the imperative to keep my gaze in the middle distance. Anything else just feels like death. Some people, though, have put off getting a life way past the point of no return. God bless their pointy little heads, I’m sure that happiness and good fortune await them. I wish nothing but enjoyment and peace upon them, in their deluded and fictional little worlds. But it’s sad, in a way, that their only way to run from the Grim Reaper is to try to deny things that might make them uncomfortable. I don’t know about anybody else, but that sort of thing has never worked for me. heaven knows i’ve tried it. Those “people who care” have spoken in a public place, so I feel just the tiny amount of vindication I need to get on with my life from now and for the rest of the day. Thank you, people!